Big joke
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October 17, 2003
FOR those who are still thinking that American democracy is the best, think again. I used to think that America should be the model, but that was centuries ago. With Arnold Schwarzenegger's election as the First Horseman of the Apocalypse, este, California governor, I'm glad I was enlightened and started singing to a different tune a long, long time ago.
America is no different from the Philippines. These days, one doesn't necessarily have to be brainy to become a governor. Going to the gym can be your stepping stone to staging a lovefest with the President inside his hotel suite and limousine shortly after your victory party.
I am not saying that Schwarzenegger has no brains. Of course not. But Big Arnie didn't have to use much of it in getting elected. Schwarzenegger is a classic case of how muscles can win one a top leadership position.
We, Filipinos, should stop making America as our model for democracy unless, of course, if we want to see someone as huge as Bonel Balingit in Malacanang. If a bad Austrian artist who's obsessed with pumping muscles can gather that kind of a rabid political following in an American state, why can't the Philippines have Balingit? Or why not the exact opposite--Mahal or Mura or Dagul? Given that American democracy is our model, yes, why not?
The cash-strapped California had to spend an estimated S67 million just to have Gray Davis "recalled". That much so Californians could pick Schwarzenegger among a list of candidates that included former child star Gary Coleman (who can act much, much better than The Terminator), Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt and porn star Mary Carey (who would have given Arnie a run for his money if Californians voted based on chest size).
Gray Davis, who's Grayer now, used to be the toast of the state of California. Thanks to Schwarzenegger, Davis is now a toast.
Says radio operator Kevin Napier: "Don't blame me--I voted for the porn star."
No wonder we had Edsa 2 and Edsa 3. It's because in the 1998 elections, many Filipinos were thinking of Ronald Reagan. (Need I say more?) It wouldn't come as a surprise to me then that in May next year, many will go to the election precincts with Arnold Schwarzenegger in mind. No wonder we have elected plenty of jokers in government. (No offense, Sen. Joker Arroyo.)
In Paranaque, people elected playboy basketball player turned comedian Joey Marquez. The joke there now is that people are complaining--"Sigaw ng mga taga Paranaque: Mabuti pa ang mayor namin may tulo, ang gripo namin walang tulo!"
In Misamis Oriental, Gov. Antonio Calingin is going from one remote village to another. He brings with him the capitol band and there, they would dance the otso-otso or do an Ogie Alcasid ballad. People there love the governor and they treat him like he's an actor or something.
Political platform? Later.
"Madame Ching", the governor's wife, appears bent on running for representative in the 1st District of Misamis Oriental whether or not she gets her husband and mayor son Rocky's go-ahead. She has told people, including media workers, at the capitol tennis court that she has the money. Yes, why not?
In Cagayan de Oro, people will be reelecting a likely unopposed Mayor Vicente Emano for sure. His "most notable accomplishments" during his 2nd office term:
* tell President Arroyo "itaga mo sa bato, ako'y iyong iyo na";
* make it appear that SM, Robinson's, etc. invested in the city because of him;
* turn Divisoria into the biggest well-lighted toilet bowl in the city (I like the food there, make no mistake about it);
* work on an over P600-million bridge and road project that damaged a precious heritage and archaeological site;
* award a multimillion-peso public market renovation project to a company that wanted to mortgage the same property so it can raise enough capital; and
* make the contractor UKC Builders Inc. richer this year.
It's because we have made America our model that Cagayan de Oro has elected, reelected and will be electing again a ridiculous joke of a mayor.
And if by chance action king Fernando Poe Jr. changes his mind and announces he'd run for President, let's not talk about the 2004 presidential elections anymore.
America is rich and can afford to waste some of its resources by having a few jokers in its government. The Philippines can't afford to be a copycat--a poor copycat at that--because we're broke. Frankly, I think the joke is on us.
Pastilan.
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